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APPETIZING
ADVENTURES
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COOKBOOK

4-2-3-1: It's Alive...

April 16, 2019

Welcome back to the 4231. Where has it been? Don’t worry about about. It’s back now. That plot hole doesn’t exist. You know what does exist? MLS and all of its glory. Let’s get to work. 

 

4 Reactions From Last Week 

 

  • Seattle doesn’t give a damn about the plot either. They’ve been as predictable as a Scooby Doo episode over the last few years. Suck early. Figure it out/make a game changing addition. This year though? Nope. They're just going to win and outlast a once-again-terrifying Jozy Altidore. They have a claim to the best team in the west and what the hell are they going to do in the summer if they’re not having to punch through a casket?

  • The other team that has that top dog claim is LAFC. They didn’t burn Cincy at the stake but sorts just sorta put them in a mortar and pestle and turned them into a fine paste. As they continue their quest to mirror Atlanta with better numbers, they’ll get to wrestle more with teams that sit back and don’t come to the gunfight with a rubber band and bad ideas. They dealt with this round, how well do they play more teams that come into their house with the shield up? 

  • Take a bow Minnesota. They stadium is nice as hell and workers banging ice off the seats before the game was on brand as hell. The result? Eh...still some bugs to work out of what is a good team. At least they’re really fun and have a really fun home. The fans in Minnesota deserve that at the very least. While we’re at it, Sean Johnson. Buddy. Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen going forward. No one was happier about that late goal than he was to earn the draw and spoil the opening of the new park. 

  • Gianluca Busio is really fun and did a really fun thing rescuing SKC the other night. He burned the Red Bulls and ripped a big road win away from the defending supporters shield winners. It was a nice bounce back for SKC after getting drummed out of CONCACAF. Then Kaku happened. Call what you will but he did one of the dumbest things you’ll see on a field and will be suspended for a while probably. I had flashbacks to Toronto getting in a fight in Atlanta last year. You got a point on the road(though you wanted more) and then one of your key players did a stupid thing to make things more difficult. Don’t be 2018 Toronto. 

2 Games You Should Not Have Missed

 

  • If you didn’t see Seattle and Toronto go back and forth it’s worth your time. They traded punches and even when they didn’t land that game got stretched out like an old can of silly putty. It’s surely stressful if you care about those teams but it’s so damn exciting if you’re just watching as a neutral. 

  • Of course I’m going to suggest San Jose because you should all suffer like I have chosen to. But in this case just watch Houston. They’re fun and beating up teams they should beat up. They did that again with an exciting middle of this game with 3 goals in 10 minutes. San Jose is fun with the style they’re running and Houston is just fun in general. It’s like watching someone load watermelons into a bear trap. Sometimes it explodes, sometimes you lose a hand. Either way it’s going to be noteworthy. 

3 Goals We Love

 

  • Lucas Rodriguez dances through the defense of Colorado (and I use defense lightly here) to get the job done on a tough night for DC. They won and he has been fun. Take advantage of bad teams and dance through them like Syrio Forel. 

  • Ozzie Alonso still has something to offer. I thought it would be Minnesota as hell if he’d just collapsed when he got there but it’s working. Also any time you smash a volley like a liner up the middle you will land here. 

  • Barco. Barco Barco Barco Barco Barco. Barco took time and space and folded it in on itself and it was amazing. Barco did a Barco. This is now canon in the same way that Tito doing Tito things is a thing. 

1 MLS Thing This Week

 

  • DC gets this one. You could go VAR in Dallas but the rest of the world gets VAR chaos these days. DC got mauled, played a weird draw while trying to get their bearings and then traveled over 1,600 miles to play in the thin air against a Colorado team that isn’t great but tends to play in some weird and exhausting games. DC got the job done but when someone asks what makes MLS rough, this is a solid example. 

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